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RELATIONSHIPS T he vast majority of children in South Africa grow up without a father: 63%, according to the most recent figures from Stats SA. That is a heartbreaking number of young boys and girls who will never know what it feels like to be cherished by a loving father. Without diminishing the incredible lengths to which single mothers and extended family go to to secure the safety of the children in their care and provide for them, the problem of fatherlessness cuts much deeper than simply having an additional provider and protector in the home: there is compelling evidence that a fatherless childhood can increase the likelihood of psychological or emotional difficulties in adulthood, and criminality in boys in particular. “Father figures, like mother figures, are critical in the development of a child’s emotional wellbeing,” says clinical psychologist Sybrand Hagan. “When children maintain a positive bond with a father figure, they often exhibit improved emotional regulation. Often, children will rely on a father figure to set healthy boundaries and to provide “When children maintain a positive bond with a father figure, they often exhibit improved emotional regulation.” a feeling of security, both emotionally and physically. This tends to lead to better emotional, academic, social and behavioural outcomes for children. “Growing up with an affectionate and supportive father figure instils a sense of self-confidence and wellbeing.” 76 Children who have a healthy connection with a father figure are also less likely to engage in risky behaviours or act out at school, he adds. “The fatherlessness problem in South Africa is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken by those who are in a position to be a positive
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RELATIONSHIPS father figure. With high rates of unemployment, poverty and crime, the hope is that children with a healthy father figure, and mother figure, will be able to break this cycle and help to combat the social challenges that we face,” Hagan adds. STEPPING UP TO THE PLATE In this context, any father who shows up as a positive role model for their child is a hero. But can children receive similar benefits from a father figure who is not their biological father? “Unfortunately, the reality is that often biological fathers are out of the household, for many different reasons. Yet we have many people in South Africa who successfully fill the role of a father figure: relatives, grandparents, older siblings, stepfathers, or community leaders. What’s important is that it is someone who is able and willing to be a father figure, someone who can be supportive, loving and involved,” Hagan says. Father a Nation (FAN) is an NPO founded by author and ‘Dad Coach’ Craig Wilkinson, with the purpose of inspiring South African men to step up and become present in their children’s lives – or any child in need of a father figure. FAN’s programmes have been held in over 100 communities across the country and attended by over 350 000 men. “Growing up with an affectionate and supportive father figure instils a sense of self-confidence and wellbeing.” 77
